Sometimes we get into a comfort zone. A groove. With our friends, our scene, our lives. Everything. And we're working it, working towards something. Then all of a sudden our world gets ripped out from underneath our feet. Someone leaves, plans change, and all of a sudden it feels like we have to rewrite the story, replace the characters, or we won't be able to continue on the path, whether its geographically, mentally, or metaphysically, it upsets our groove.
But think back. There was a time when you did not know this person, or this plan and who were you then? what were you thinking about doing then? It's a hard thing to try to go on with the thought of a big gaping hole in our day where that person was, where that plan was, and all of a sudden our life becomes sullen, lost, empty.
I think it's important to mourn the loss, accept the sadness that it brings, and most of all try not to replace it, or fill it. But I also think it is natural for us to try to force it- a new plan in it's place, a new friend in the place- only to find it falling very short, and leading you down a path ugly. Sure, a new plan is good, a new friend, but not to replace anything, not a plan b, but as a continuation of life.
This concept may sound weird, I mean after all, it's what we do "instead," but what I am saying is to think of it, as not "instead" but as what you would have done anyway. Because by replacing the plan, or the friend, we send ourself the message that we want to erase the plan, or the friend. replace=erase. Pretend it never existed. Protect ourselves from pain. And in so doing, we lose part of our identity. We forgo an important part of our path. Accepting that the plan has changed, or that the friend has moved allows us to grow together with the idea and evolve it into our new idea.
Relax. Unwind. Breathe into your life as it is. Accept the sadness, the anxiety, the fear as a sign of your life, your breath, your impending doom as all part of the journey of life, as it continues.....
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