the price of religion

i know too many people who were raised by the beatings of some religion. just shut up and observe, i keep telling myself. but, i cannot get over the blind faith. i'm a lot ignorant though, because I know nothing about Jesus, Mohammed, or the Messiahs. My family is Hindu, and though they are rather religious, it was never forced upon us. I'm a sorry Hindu. But much of Hinduism is based on mythology. Not real persons. Well, the mythical characters were based on real entities at some point I guess. But i still cannot get over the blind faith- particularly in the area of shunning human sexuality. why is sex and sexuality seen as taboo? something only to be done within the sacrament of marriage or a committed relationship. It's 2007 and I think we should be so far ahead in the future, we live on the west coast right? but I still have girlfriends who call themselves sluts because they fulfill their sexual desires with people they know they'd never spend the rest of their lives with. or sleep with bras on at night for fear of them sagging in old age. come on ladies. it is not 1950, or so i thought. Let your sex free. Let your boobs free. I gotta go to work now. I'll continue this tirade later.

the path

I don't even try to argue anymore when I hear shallow (by shallow I mean it's usually vain, arrogant, meaningless) statements people make about themselves that are either 1) fishing for compliments or 2) meant to put other people down by making themselves look better, where I would once listen and try to understand their words, address their passive aggression by responding, once in a while counteract with something rude, or brush it under the rug. Now, I look at the person and I think to myself "No way are we going down this path again." I don't respond and I leave that person alone. Possibly for good. I don't want that energy in my life anymore. Los Angeles. California. Any big city in America. It won't change when I am in SF, or NYC. People wanna know people, appear cool, perhaps they are searching for thier identity, I am not sure, what I do know is that people are so disconnected from what is important, and so blind-sided by the american dream whether it be the idealized lifestyle of fame (yes rockstardom is included here) or image (um...being thin, or tattooed or pierced because it's cool and supposedly sets you apart not because it's representative of them though really) or status (owning property, having the nice car, basically being rich) that people forget who they themselves truly are, and what they stand for.

Veganism- Here is an example of something I am doing because of my political beliefs, and yes, people think I am doing it because of my health, because I am trying to lose weight or something. No honey, in India we are brought up to be kind to animals. What our country is doing to turn a profit: the meat industry is really disgusting. It's a hard road for me esp because I love leather boots & leather jackets. Not because I like meat, in fact I rarely eat pork, or beef. Chicken is the one thing I do eat, and I can substitute it with beans, and tofu. Still its hard. I already avoid cheese and eggs. Still its hard and it really gets frustrating when people tell me, "beans don't really have a lot of protein," or "i love meat, what would I do without meat?" Seriously? I am disgusted by the meat industry and your loving meat is disgusting to me, not to mention protein? Seriously? Protein can be gleaned from leafy veggies. get a clue.

Kundalini Yoga-I like to meditate. It helps me stay in touch with my values, and beliefs. Once again people think I do it for weight loss or something. Please don't compare kundalini to your kick boxing class. Quite a different phenomenon. There is nothing aerobic about Yoga (unless you do Bikram) and America is so obsessed with weight loss that they forget that being in a comfortable happy mental place cures most ailments including over-eating.

Maybe its my age. I'll be 35 in a month. At 26 I was wild, I was a transient, moving around, getting high, I made no money, I played in a reggae band, and I was traveling aound Egypt. The 26 year olds I know are career driven. It's a very different place I am at now watching what is very traditional to me. So, when I get advice from these traditional minded people, who by the way remind me of my mother and have no idea about my experience nor the bravado to live that life, who on top of reminding me of my mother are almost ten years younger than me, I feel irked and resentful. And tired. I am tired of educating, placating people's arrogance and fighting all the time for what I believe to be true and real, so sometimes it's just easier to shut up and walk away.

Trannie Faux Pais

Ok, I am about to admit a little ignorant statement I made the other day. Then, I will defend my reasons, but all the while acknowledging how ignorant I sounded and how wrong I was.

I was having dinner with my newfound friend/colleague last week in the heart of West Hollywood. It was a warm night, and I ordered a glass of white wine. It was Monday night, and the only reason it has taken me so long to write about it is because I got ill that night with some sort of flu-bug, then hives for 3 days, and today was the first day I felt better. Ok, so back to my story. My friend is a doctor. She is also transgendered. She has a practice a block away from mine and she provides medical care for transgendered individuals. She is obviously (or not maybe to all) a M2F, or Male to Female, and identifies not only as a female but as a lesbian. This is key when dealing with people. Acknowledge and accept their gender. Well, I was buzzing, and then I found out she plays drums! Well, my rock band always said we wanted a "Trannie Drummer," we blatantly wanted Hedwig or someone as fabulous as Hedwig, and once we even advertised that: "We require un drummer. Are you he? she? a he/she?" OK. That ad was politically incorrect on a lot of levels, I mean the use of "un," a Spanish word, mid sentence is rude, and then a he/she? how insensitive. who is going to respond, "Hi, I am he/she, and I play drums?" Naturally, that's what we wanted, were dying for, searching for, being glam fans of the likes of David Bowie, Iggy Pop and movies like the Velvet Goldmine. We dreamed of that person. But, in this day and age homophobia is so great that although slightly unrelated, are people truly going to admit they are in between two sexes? People want to be associated with one gender or the other. This is why people transition. So, I really offended my friend by saying "Oh my god, we've always wanted a tranny drummer." Bam. Foot in mouth. Naturally and thankfully she corrected me. She is not a drag queen, nor just a cross-dresser, she is just what she is, and don't you ever forget it. So I learned a valuable lesson. Not all transgendered individuals can nor want to exist in "trans"it. Mind you, I lived in San Francisco in the 90's, prior to the mainstreaming of sex reassignment surgery, when most people had to, without choice, exist in the "trans." But, it is also highly accepted in San Francisco to be in the "trans". There are butch women (seriously butch with beards, strapped down breasts and -on dildo's) all over the place, who do not opt for the surgery. There are drag queens and kings and and there is a large scene for them. Most do not opt for the surgery, they do not have to for there is a world for them where they belong. This is NOT the case here in Los Angeles, out in the real world I guess, and I am sadened for my professional, hard-working friends who feel they can only gain acceptance by going all the way. I've never been one to go all the way.

So, as I help the African American and Latino prostitutes dressed in drag on Santa Monica Blvd get off the streets, get off the needles, and get into homes, I am all of a sudden awakened to difference of class. Would these kids still be drag queens if given the opportunity to have the surgery?

As I walk down the street late at night in West Hollywood past the drag shows, with my gal pal who loves "trannies," I am reminded that these are drag queens, they are performers, female impersonaters, and theatrical workers. They are sex workers. And possibly, they would be out of work. And they are those who can because of their profession perhaps, exist in the "trans", a demi-monde or underworld of living in between.

And not everyone is like that.